The Trauma Response You’re Bringing to Work

Do you really need another job? Or do you need to understand why you keep ending up in the same one?

If you’ve ever left a toxic workplace only to find yourself in another toxic workplace, you’re not alone, and it’s not a coincidence.

Most of us think we’re making logical decisions about our careers, but underneath the job descriptions and interviews, something deeper is running the show: our beliefs. Specifically, the ones that were shaped by our earliest experiences, many of which we’d never dream are influencing us at work.

If you were taught that you had to be perfect to be loved, guess how you’re going to show up at work?

If you learned to avoid conflict to stay safe, guess how you’re going to handle a team meeting?

If your nervous system has spent decades scanning for danger, guess how you’re going to interpret feedback from your boss?

These are trauma responses - coping mechanisms that helped you survive and now quietly shape how you move through your professional (and personal) life.

You might find yourself snapping at coworkers when you feel out of control (fight). Or avoiding tough conversations like the plague (flight). Maybe you freeze up when someone questions your work, even if you know you’re doing a good job (freeze). Or maybe you become the office MVP, always saying yes, always over-performing, hoping to stay safe through approval (fawn).

These patterns don’t disappear when you land the “right” job. In fact, the higher the stakes, or the more challenging the environment, the louder they tend to get.

Once you start noticing the connections between how you respond today and what you learned back then, everything starts to shift. You don’t have to “fix” yourself. You just have to start getting curious. Ask yourself:

Why does this trigger me so much?

What am I really afraid of here?

Where else have I felt this before?

It’s not always comfortable, but it’s the work that changes everything. Because until you do it, you’re not choosing your career path, you’re reliving it.

The truth is, work isn’t just work when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. It’s a minefield. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

If this resonates, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to untangle these behaviors by yourself. This is the kind of work I do with my clients every day: helping mission-driven professionals recognize the patterns that are running the show, so they can respond instead of react, lead instead of perform, and experience more joy, balance, and purpose, in work and in life.

If you're ready to do things differently—and start experiencing real change from the inside out—reach out and schedule a free consultation.