Blog Series: Part 1 Applying 12 Step Principles to Succeed, Stay Sane, and Save Lives

Part 1: How to Succeed at Work without Compromising your Mental Health

A few years ago, I presented a session at an animal welfare conference called “Applying 12 Step Principles to Succeed, Stay Sane, and Save Lives.” I knew it was a little unconventional. After all, 12-step recovery programs aren’t usually something we talk about at work, but maybe we should.

Because the truth is, the tools I’ve learned from my 12-step background haven’t just changed my personal life. They’ve helped me show up more effectively, more sanely, and more successfully in my career. And spoiler alert: you don’t have to be in a 12-step program to use them. These are principles anyone can apply, especially those of us doing mission-driven, high-stress work in nonprofit environments.

In this three-part series, I’m sharing some of the tools that have helped me the most in my 20 years in the nonprofit sector.  Today’s focus? Success: not just getting ahead, but doing meaningful, sustainable work without compromising your mental health.

1. How Important Is It?

This might be the single most useful question I’ve learned to ask myself at work. It sounds basic—even eye-roll worthy—but it’s saved me from countless hours of stress, overthinking, and unnecessary drama.

In high-stakes mission-driven work, everything can feel like a crisis. But if we treat every inconvenience like a five-alarm fire, we burn ourselves (and each other) out. When you’re tempted to react, try this:

💭 Ask yourself: How important is it?
And if you’re still not sure, follow up with:
• Does this need to be said?
• Does this need to be said by me?
• Does this need to be said by me right now?

As someone with passionate opinions, I use this filter constantly. And honestly? Most of the time, the answer is no. Learning to let go of the small stuff frees up energy for the big stuff, like saving lives.

2. Share Your Thoughts & Let Go of the Results

Early in my career, I hesitated to speak up in meetings. I’d spend the whole time obsessing over whether what I wanted to say was “smart enough” to be shared. If I did finally speak and someone disagreed? I’d stay quiet for the rest of the meeting.

Now? I dread meetings where no one speaks up. I understand the instinct to hide, but I also know it doesn’t serve us, or the mission.

What helped me overcome my fear of being judged was reframing my input as a form of service. Sharing an idea, whether it’s embraced, challenged, or simply gets the conversation rolling is part of contributing to the team. It’s not about being right; it’s about showing up and being part of the conversation.

And when I’m tempted to hold back my input because of how I think someone may respond, I remind myself that “When I’m in another person’s head, I’m out of my mind.”  We’re not responsible for anyone else’s behaviors, and when we stop trying to control how others perceive us, we free ourselves to communicate with honesty, professionalism, and confidence.

Because leadership isn’t about having all the right answers; it’s about being willing to show up, speak up, and contribute, even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s how we grow. And more often than not, it’s how we give others permission to grow, too.

3. The Power of Making Amends

You might not expect to hear the word “amends” in a workplace blog but hear me out: nothing has improved my work relationships more than learning how to own my mistakes.

We’ve all seen it: people melting down over a mistake, pointing fingers, trying to dodge accountability. But the truth is, mistakes are inevitable. What matters is how we respond.

These days, when I make a mistake, I rarely give it a second thought. I just take responsibility right away, explain how I’m going to address it, and move forward. No drama, no defensiveness. Just honesty and action. Almost every time, it diffuses the situation and builds trust.

When something goes wrong, you don’t have to spiral. You don’t have to shut down. And you definitely don’t have to be perfect.

What matters is how you show up next.

Take responsibility. Communicate clearly. Keep moving forward.

You’ll build trust and confidence, not just with others, but in yourself.