Receiving: The Most Counterintuitive Thing I’m Practicing This Year

For most of my life, I had no goals, which sounds strange, considering how hard I was always striving. I felt like I was constantly trying to push a boulder up a hill without knowing where I was headed or why.

At the time, I couldn’t have explained why setting goals felt so daunting. Now it feels obvious. If you can’t locate yourself on a map, you can’t possibly chart a path forward. And when that’s the case, you don’t lack direction; you lack orientation.

I spent more years than I’d like to admit as a passive participant in my own life. Then, at some point in my personal growth journey, something shifted, and the pendulum swung hard in the other direction. To do lists multiplied. Intentions were set. Goals were defined and redefined. I took action, and more action. I was determined to get into the driver’s seat of my life, white knuckling the wheel, and certain that nothing would happen unless I made it happen.

What I’ve come to understand is that the things I value most in life - peace, joy, connection, purpose - rarely live at either end of the spectrum. They don’t exist in resignation or relentless striving. They seem to hang out comfortably in the middle, largely unbothered by our urgency. A friend once called this the holy middle, and it turns out my nervous system has been nudging me there all along.

In the last few years, I’ve been practicing what I think of as wearing life like a loose garment. Instead of asking what I should do, I ask different questions. Who do I want to be today? How do I want to feel? When those answers are clear, the other questions sort themselves out with far less effort.

My body notices the changes. I get sick less often. My muscles relax. My breath deepens. I feel more open, more grounded, more at home in myself.

This past fall, I spent three months away from home. I’ll be honest and admit that I went into the experience with an agenda. I had specific questions I wanted answered, and my friends did their best to keep me accountable.

Every time we checked in, they asked the same thing. Any clarity yet?

And every time, my answer was no.

At first, I felt a flicker of guilt when I responded. Then something interesting happened. The guilt passed. Because while I wasn’t getting answers to the questions I had asked, I was receiving answers to deeper questions it hadn’t even occurred to me to ask. And those answers were opening my life in quiet but profound ways.

I kept hearing the same message repeated back to me. Just walk through the open doors.

Fast forward to today. I’ve never chosen a word of the year before. The idea always felt a little forced to me. But this year, during a meditation, a word came to me with surprising clarity.

“Receive.”

I love that it is both passive and active. You cannot receive if you are gripping or bracing. But you also cannot receive if you are checked out. It requires Presence. Willingness. Trust.

I never would have chosen this word for myself, which is probably why it feels so right. It feels like the best parts of the two extremes I have lived in coming together. A return to the holy middle.

So, this year, I am practicing less forcing and more listening. Less pushing and more allowing. Walking through the open doors as they appear and trusting what unfolds….

I’m wishing you all peace, ease, and countless opportunities to receive in the year ahead. <3